I’m not sure what it says about kids today that 2012 Furby tells you what to do should you happen to get taco sauce on your Furby.
But now we’ve got warnings about keeping this thing away from water and feeding it in a particular way.
I got my Furby today, after checking my FedEx tracking countless times and then my doorstep every hour on the hour to make sure someone didn’t take my package.
Took Furby out of the box and prompty discovered that I didn’t have four double A batteries.
Tried two new batteries with two old ones, which Furby apparently didn’t like. Furby goes MMRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR and I get so freaked out that I take the batteries out.
After giving up for a few hours, I discover a secret stash of batteries.
Furby turns on, and I do not realize that 21st century Furby is no joke. It rocks back and forth side to side and turns around. It demonstrates this fact by knocking over my water bottle.
Furby starts speaking, and since the instruction manual says to speak clearly and directly to Furby (these fuckers are more particular than I remember), I get in Furby’s face and talk to it. “NO.” I say, which gets a “HUH?” in response, followed by “YES. NO.” in Furbish. Then Furby starts in on something not in the provided Furbish translations. I decide to download the Furby app, and while I am doing so, Furby gets bored with me and goes to sleep.
I try again, only I get distracted when I remember that this Furby dances to music. I play it Gangam Style, it dances for about five minutes, sings a song to itself, farts, and cracks itself up so much that it promptly goes back to sleep. I decide that I’m done with Furby for the day.
I try out the app, which uses some kind of specialized sound to communicate with the Furby. I feed it a virtual baked potato, which causes Furby to declare “I CHANGINNNGGGGGG”, vibrate, light up, and freak me the hell out before it comes to again, now inexplicably female.
I don’t know, you guys.